Every once in a while I decide to try some new thing — scuba diving for example. Thus, around age 40 I decided to see if I could learn to juggle. After all I reasoned, if all those folks I saw on the teevee could do it, how hard could it be?
Pretty dad-gummed hard as it turned out. Not as hard as say, solving Maxwell’s equations, but right up there with playing Snookers well or baking a perfect souffle’.

The best kind of juggling balls are these squarish little bean-bags filled with sand. I acquired a set from a toy store in Singapore, and they came with a helpful guide oddly called: How To Juggle. I was on my way!

These little dudes have the right size and weight AND when you drop them they don’t go rolling away to the far corners of the room. And drop them you will, several hundred times until you finally get the pattern of catch and release. I eventually got to the point of being able to juggle three balls for a few minutes, much to the delight and amazement of my kids who gazed upon me as a kind of superhero. “Mission accomplished”, thought ‘The Juggler’ as he melted into the shadows, beanbags at the ready, senses laser-focused on the rise of villainy.
I ultimately climbed all the way to the level of rank amateur. I would watch experts juggling 4, 5, 6 or 7 things at once. One guy could do one-handed juggling whilst eating an apple with his free hand. Folks would juggle knives or flaming torches and some performers could do synchronized juggling, flipping bowling pins back and forth between them, never missing a beat.
For my next trick, watch me juggle these perfect souffle’s with one hand whilst playing expert snookers with the other, and still having the time to glare menacingly at Maxwell and his pesky equations.
Finally, it would be cool to juggle a certain purple vegetable, and then tell folks that you never missed a BEET! Bada bing bada boom.