Katydids.

Spring and summer nights are punctuated with a symphony of squeaks, squawks and cries, all performed in benediction to the need to procreate. Get your mind out of the gutter dear reader. Sheesh.

I had assumed that this racket was caused by crickets, however the real culprit was the erstwhile katydid, sometimes known as the bush cricket. These bright green insects use protective mimicry to look like leaves on trees.

Scientists have discovered that green is not the only color in some species; bright pink can be found as well as orange, tan, brown, or yellow .

Talk about making yourself a target. Please come eat me, he says.

One night last week as I was headed out the door on my evening constitutional, I noticed a <green> katydid on the window frame. I didn’t want him to fly inside, so I made to brush him away from the house. Unfortunately he/she decided at that moment to FLY DIRECTLY AT MY FACE! I immediately went into a series of arm-flailing, face-batting contortions, a move so ridiculous that it is recorded in the Guiness Book of Laughable Behavior. He veered off at the last second leaving me to scream “Get it off me!” in a high-pitched warbling bleat. He flew away, chuckling no doubt at having reduced a human being to a whimpering gnome.

The next morning I notice that an orb spider has snared a katydid in its web, where it will be committed to the food chain. I wonder if it is *my* katydid, and if I have somehow played a role in its demise. Down that path lies madness and I shall consider it no further. Now excuse me while I scurry back to the lawn.