Ricecapades

For those that read this rambling journal you may know that Pulling A Fenton (PAF) means taking the smallest and simplest act and allowing it to spawn a grotesque and towering monument to stupidity.

I love rice and make a big pot periodically, way more than can be reasonably consumed by two people. The plan is then to divide the cooked rice into two roughly equal piles and place them into two plastic freezer bags. One bag goes into the frig and the other into the freezer to be taken out and thawed at a later date. This advanced riceology technique has worked well for years.

The other day I noticed that the first bag was nearly empty — time to take the frozen bag out of the freezer. Our freezer trays are really a series of metal grills which slide in and out on railings. On this day I go to take out the bag of frozen rice and it’s stuck, having sagged into and through the grill and then frozen around it. So it takes some work to free it from its icy entrapment, just need to tug the bag free and, uh-oh, the top of the bag tears off cleanly in my hands.

This angers me so I attack the remaining frozen lump and FREE it, aha! But in my zeal I manage to pull the freezer tray off its railing and watch in dismay as the other frozen food items slide out onto the floor. So I put the frozen lump of rice to the side, take out the freezer tray, pick the various items off the floor, place the now empty tray back onto its rails, and finally place the food items back onto the tray. I close the freezer door and turn menacingly to the frozen rice in its torn plastic bag, as if it is to blame somehow. I have succeeded in turning a simple act into a screaming avalanche of terror, like Everest without oxygen or Sherpa guides.

I managed to get the recalcitrant riceberg (heh) into another freezer bag for thawing without bringing down the entire house, so I’ll take that as a win.